Saturday is my birthday, and I’ve been thinking a bit about who I am, and who I’ve been in the past. I’ve changed a lot over the years, and from what I can tell the only thing all the Adam Sokols I’ve been would have in common is the fact that they’d all hate the Adam I am.
My five year old self would hate how I never made it to the bigs. He should have know that wasn’t in the cards after all the times I swung and missed in tee ball, but I’ll give the kid a pass. He was only five at the time.
Twelve year old Adam would be really disappointed to learn that my life wasn’t an elaborate holodeck based Star Fleet training mission. (He was a sad specimen).
Fifteen year old Adam Sokol would be pretty angry that I cut my hair. He thought we’d have nice shoulder length locks, and we’d still be rocking that jean jacket with the Grateful Dead patches.
Seventeen year old Adam would probably be pissed that we didn’t turn into the old guy at the punk shows. He didn’t realize at the time that the old guy isn’t cool, he’s just creeping everyone out. He’d also be pretty angry that the ska band never worked out. Nor did ska for that matter.
Eighteen year old Adam would be angry that I’m not a published author in the field of political science. In my defense though he didn’t give me a lot to go on. He didn’t have any unique ideas or anything. He just thought we should be published by thirty. We’re not.
Twenty year old Adam would be pissed that I’m not in the forefront of a major socialist upheaval. He would be more pissed to know that I’m okay with that.
Twenty one year old me would be pissed that we gave up that “wearing a suit everyday” thing. Everyone who had to be downwind of a guy wearing a three piece in August was pretty happy about it though.
Twenty two year old Adam would be angry that I started drinking. He thought we were gonna see that policy through to the end.
Twenty three year old Adam would be a little pissed that we stayed working at that car dealership for as long as we did.
My twenty four year old self would be pretty pissed that when we took a break from college we never went back. Maybe he’d have a point on that one.
One day I’m sure I’ll imagine just how angry this Adam Sokol would be at the person I’ll be in the future. Sometimes I’m a little angry at those people too. Had they drank more milk maybe I’d be taller. I wish a lot of them had tried to make this Adam Sokol a little less doughy. Maybe spent a little more time reading as opposed to watching TV. Who knows maybe one day I’ll live a life that will make all those little weirdos proud. But all in all I’m pretty goddamned happy with the one I am today.