I’m not sure if anyone of you know, but last week I rode my bike across the state of Ohio doing shows at each stop. I went with three other comics, Dean Masello, Max Boyajian, and Christian Polanco. It was fun and nuts and something that I look forward to doing again. As this took an awful lot of forethought and planning this was definitely not my doing. My friend Dean called me a couple months back and asked if I wanted to ride my bike across Ohio telling jokes. I said yes, because I didn’t think there was any way I’d actually have to do it. Comics often have weird plans that never come to fruition. I can’t even count the amount of times weirdos at open mics have asked me to rent an RV and tell jokes with them. At first I used to say no. But I’ve since learned that it doesn’t matter. These people are nuts. Chances are they won’t ever show at an open mic again let alone actually show up with an RV and demand you come along. So I’ve gotten in the habit of just saying yes. Turns out Dean is that strange mix of fucking nuts and dedicated that follows through on crazy schemes. When he called a month later to confirm I realized that this was for real.
|Nuts. Fucking nuts.|
All the logistics were taken care of by Dean. He came up with the routes. He organized the shows. And he did a bang up job. He called it Laugh Strong: Tour De Comedy. He even got a logo and flyer made for the whole thing.
|This is what that looks like.|
I'm a relatively active rider. I use my bike for commuting when the weather is comfortable. But the prospect of riding across Ohio was a little daunting. I'd like to say I did some training to prepare, but aside from taking a few extra laps around Central Park on my way home from work I didn't do too much to prepare. Luckily I was not the most unprepared so I had plenty of time to rest.
|What a relatively active rider looks like.|
|I'm pretty sure I saw Rosie O'Donnell on my way to Dean's house. Pretty cool, huh?|
|On an aluminum horse I ride.|
Dean, Christian, and myself drove out to Cleveland to Dean's brother's house. From there Dean's brother Mike drove us to Cincinnati. The first leg of our journey. We did one show and a group ride in Cincinnati. But since there wasn't a lot of riding to be done we just spent a lot of time dicking around and eating a lot of shitty food.
|Diarrhea is about to get sexy again|
|Steak n' Shake! The "n" stands for "nom nom nom"|
On the last night we went to Go Bananas to watch the show, and we prepared for the following day's ride.
|Whiskey. It's like chain lube for your body.|
The first day of riding was in a word, rough. It was a sixty mile trek from Cincinnati to Dayton. I probably wasn't ready to ride my bike that long in 90 degree heat, but Christian almost died.
|How Christian felt|
|How I felt|
|Christian and I being passed by a jogger at about mile 57|
But it was all worth it, because we made it to Dayton, had a fun show, and got put up in a bitchin' hotel.
The next day we woke up late and rather sore, but ready for more riding. As we were headed to Yellow Springs. I didn't know too much about Yellow Springs. I knew Dave Chapelle lives there and I had heard some things about the college there. Other than that I didn't know too much. It wasn't too bad a ride just about 30 miles. Which after 60 was nothing. The ride was scenic, but pretty warm. We decided that it might be easier if Christian rode my bike. I decided shortly thereafter when it comes to
my bike I'm a little jealous.
|Make sure to drink plenty of coffee when riding in hot weather|
|Serenity with a lot of junk in her trunk|
|Lisa Wolters (right) owner of Yellow Springs Brewery passing a cherry Mustang|
|Greatest place on Earth|
|Dark and wobbly|
|Shit fountain (artist's rendition)|
|If you think your capital loves America as much as Columbus you're mistaken|
|State house. I think, I wasn't really paying attention|
|The person on the ride along|
Next stop was Wooster. An odd little town. Very picturesque. We had a beautiful ride through town with some folks from a local bike store, Ride On. I didn't take my camera with me, but let me tell you it was gorgeous. We were told no cursing or mentioning of sex. Which seems like an odd request for most bar shows, but most bars don't have a giant bronze Jesus in the corner staring at you.
|If you thought the back of the room was judgey at your show...|
|Letting our hair down after letting Jesus down|
|The bottom of the sign says "business in rear." I giggled for about 10 miles|
|A Busch can next to a cornfield. The most American thing I've ever seen|
|Wall St. Not so special now, are you New York?|
|The rain made Serenity a dirty girl|
|Very dirty girl|
|Riding to the show|
|Me, looking none too pleased that Dean is passing me|
|Apple Jacks 2013. We eat what we like!|
|Masello reluctantly rocking the poncho|
|Looking as cool as I can in a ladies raincoat|
All in all the whole Laugh Strong: Tour De Comedy experience was awesome. I can't thank Dean enough for all the hard work he put into it. And I really hope I get to do it again next year. This took a lot longer than I thought it would so I've decided not to proofread it even a little bit. I hope you understand.