I get mail that’s not for me sometimes. It has my address so I don’t think he’s an idiot for giving me the wrong mail. I don’t want to keep poor Elba’s mail. It’s a little weird that she’s still getting all sorts of stuff sent here. It has been three years and I guess she really doesn’t deserve her mail if she hasn’t figured out how to fill out a change of address form by now. I guess she could also be dead. If that’s the case I’m sorry for your loss Fernandez family. You have my deepest sympathies, and if there’s anything I can do in this troubling time please let me know.
|Fifth time's a charm|
|For Christ's sake return this fucking thing to sender you weirdo|
The thought process that goes into that is the most fascinating thing I can think of. He finds a letter marked return to sender. He then thinks to himself “hmmm, who was the last person to send this? Why the person who just put it in the mailbox an hour ago. I better get it back to him.” For me to want those letters back he would have to assume that the Macy’s collection department is located in an apartment in Washington Heights, but the people who live there are completely unaware that they also share an apartment with them. Or he assumes that I put it in the mailbox, realized I wanted it back, grabbed a pen, and then reached my arm in and wrote on it instead of grabbing it. I can’t wait until next time just to see how many times he actually walks back and forth with the letter before the nose bleeds of frustration force him to make a decision as to where it belongs.
Either way Barbara Walters’ shitty list has got nothing on him.