Intro: I’ve loved Star Trek since I was a kid. I started by watching TNG in 6th grade. I’ve been a fan since then and though I’ve spent a lot of time watching Star Trek, I’ve never watched The Original Series. So, I’m watching and reviewing them as a fan of Star Trek, but one who’s never seen any of them. So I’m watching all the TOS episodes for the first time and saying whether or not they suck. At the end, I give examples of better and/or worse Star Trek episodes to watch that remind me of this episode. Usually, I ramble on about some bullshit before the Trek. That’s it.
Hi. Been a little while since I updated this. I've been busy. That's a lie. I got laid off from my job. The one where I read depressing internet comments. It was kind of a bummer even though the job itself was kind of a bummer to begin with. I never thought that losing a job that depressed me that much would end up depressing me this much.
I always knew the job wasn’t going to last forever. Thinking that the job would last forever would be even more depressing. I always knew that it would end someday. I always just kind of figured that I’d have something going for myself by the time it did. Then it ended. And I didn’t. So here I am.
So I got kinda bummed. But then I started feeling better. You see, I did have something lined up. A Star Trek blog. A real one. I was gonna write for that. I was gonna put in the time and write some Trek and it was gonna be great. The first Monday I was unemployed from the old job I set my alarm. I made sure to wake up early. I was going to crack my knuckles and really write the shit out of some goddamn Trek. Then I got an email. From the Trek blog informing me that they’d no longer be needing me.
I was fired for plagiarizing this shitty blog. I didn’t even know that was possible. It is. I’d written a bunch of these. I was just kind of pumped to put them out to a larger audience. My fault. They said original content and I guess I never took that to mean stuff nobody read on here. But I was wrong.
So then I took a couple weeks off and spent some time just staring. That’s kind of what I’ve been doing lately. Starting and feeling sorry for myself. It doesn’t sound like much but it’ll eat up a day before you know it.
I tried getting back into watching TOS and wasn’t feeling it. They say that one of the symptoms of depression is that you stop enjoying the things that you used to be into. So maybe I wasn’t digging the TOS episodes because I was depressed or maybe it was because that this episode sucks. I don’t know. I’m almost done with season 2 so might as well just continue doing these for a while. Maybe another Star Trek site wants me to write for them again. Who knows. Here’s The Omega Glory. It was a fucking mess.
The gang is sent to Omega 4 in search of the USS Exeter. It’s a ship that’s been incommunicado for six months. They find the ship and everyone has been reduced to crystals. Reduced to crystals most foul. They look at log entries and it turns out that they contracted some disease from the surface that turned them all to dust. Which is dumb. But whatever. The ship’s captain, Captain Tracy is down there. So they go to ask him what’s what. Because now the away party, Kirk, Spock, McCoy, and some bag of shit redshirt all have the infection too. But if they’re on the planet’s surface the infection can’t get you.
|You hear that, PC police!|
Fine so far. They get down to the surface and they find Tracey. Who’s living with a tribe of folks called “Kohms.” The Kohms are at war with a group of savages called the “Yangs.” Kirk is worried that Tracey is violating the Prime Directive of non-interference. As he should be. Because he is. Tracey is trying to figure out why these folks live so long. I guess that the Kohms can live over a thousand years. Which is neat. He wants that secret.
|Spock's watching Kirk get the shit kick out of him face is pretty great|
Tracey gets wise to Kirk getting wise to him and tries to put the kibosh on Kirk putting the kibosh on his longevity scheme. Long story short, there’s absolutely no secret to their longevity. They just live a long time. And also Yang is short for Yankee and Kohm is short for Communist. Which is the dumbest fucking reveal ever. And also also, they're now immune to the space infection so they can leave whenever they want. Tracey meets his maker and everyone recites the Pledge of Allegiance. Lame.
No. This was bad Trek. I thought the reveal at the end was about the dumbest shit I’d ever seen. I mean, come on. Not only does this planet’s history mirror Earth’s but it mirrors it so much that not only do they have the same slang terms for America and China, but they have the same identical flags? I call space shenanigans.
There were good things going for it. I like the fact that Tracey went bananas searching for a fountain of youth that doesn’t exist. The problem is that the Federation already exists in such a state. They’ve just about solved most diseases. The life expectancy of the Federation would probably be about a thousand years if they weren’t running around in spaceships getting into trouble like a bunch of goddamn idiots.
|Try phasering this one|
Also, the score for when people are fighting is the worst. And people fight a lot in this episode so there’s a lot of shitty fight music. It’s also 40 times louder than anything else that happens. So every time there's a fight you have to grab the remote to turn it down because it sucks so much. I don’t know. Maybe I’m just in a bad mood still, but fuck this episode.
I’m gonna say Star Trek: Insurrection. I really like this movie. People shit on it and I think they’re fools for doing so. The worst critisism I’ve ever heard about this movie is that it has the feel of just a super long TNG episode with better effects. How does that not sound just awesome? It’s great. There’s a group of aliens who live on a fountain of youth planet. Another bunch of aliens want to harness the planet for themselves. Loud shouting matches about the Prime Directive ensue.
|There's some space dust in my eye|
Maybe I should've just watched Insurrection. It's pretty awesome. Well That’s it for this week. I guess I’m doing these again. I don’t know. We’ll see.