Thursday, December 13, 2018

Social Contract Violations


We live in a society. Some people forget that. There are rules so obvious that nobody thought they needed to be written down. I guess we do. Because these are some unwritten social contract violations and how they should be punished:

1. Standing in the middle of the subway door and not getting the fuck out of the way when it stops. - pushed out by someone leaving. Forced to wait for the next one. 2. Fine members of the NYPD who park on sidewalks, crosswalks, middle of intersections, or like fucking assholes in general. - should be completely legal to slash their tires. More than three instances of asshole parking will mean smashed windows too. 3. Saving a seat at a crowded bagel place while your boyfriend takes 20 minutes to order leaving people with bagels have no place to sit while you just sit there looking at your phone. - Death. Sorry. I know it's harsh, but society doesn't need you anyway. 4. Listening to your phone without headphones on the train. - You have to watch while your phone is crushed with a vice grip. (You are then given a pair of those shitty Gumy headphones for your next phone)

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